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Love Poem # 282
I Believe
My dear love, my soul mate and husband,
I was seventeen when I kissed a boy for the first time
I told him "I love you" without meaning it
I thought I would learn to believe it at some point.
Guess I just really wanted to devote myself to someone
After all, there was so much love within me
It was the most innocent and sincere desire...
Then time passed, and I wanted to fool no one
I was ashamed to say those words again.
Furthermore, I decided that I don't believe in "love"
So that boy came and went like others after him.
They were all good
I was lucky to say the least
And I have learned so much from them.
They showed me places I wanted to see
Told me things I wanted to hear.
Perhaps some really liked me
But even those who I knew had no serious intent
Treasured my innocence with much care.
I think it amused them how naive I was
Not one of them has ever laid his hands on me
Even when I was vulnerable and may be even willing
They knew it was wrong and they walked away.
So, I grew to think it will always be like that
They will come and go,
After all, I did not believe in love.
In fact, I have been single for a while before we met
I had goals to achieve and plans to make
But I could still feel that desire within me
Some nights I cried because it was so hard to contain
But again, I did not believe in love...
And then you came into my life.
Perhaps I did not fall for you the first time we met
I thought at most we would make good friends,
But somehow in a matter of few days, you became my own
And I could see myself in you.
That time by the pond opened up my eyes
And I saw a man I could not watch go someday.
I told sister I'd marry you the next day if you asked
And I was never so sure.
Every night that we talked you conquered me a little more
And I knew I didn't have to lie to myself any longer.
I could not help but surrender to that desire
And there you were, the perfect man.
Looking back now, you never seized to surprise me.
I never expected so much honesty and so much care
I never laughed so much with anyone
You made me feel the way no other could.
I feel no fear giving in to you because I don't have to give myself up
In fact, you make me the woman I want to be
And that is the greatest gift of all.
If every day for the rest of my life I can make you smile
If I can share with you the beauty of this world and its joy
If I can be your strength and encouragement in time of need
If I can help you be the man you wish to be
I could never ask for more.
So maybe it was not pure luck that all those boys have gone
And that you came into my life the way you did
Perhaps fate does exist after all,
After all, I do believe in love.
- Zhibek Salimbayeva -
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